Our God is an Awesome God. Praise the Lord, my soul. There are no coincidences any more, only signs from above. In August, I was delighted to be able to sign up to attend the Men’s ACTS Retreat. It fell on my weekend off and also concluded on September 29th, the Feast Day of St. Michael the Archangel. That was sign enough for me to see I was meant to attend that retreat on that particular weekend. Just to show you how Satan works on us, I would like to explain the evening leading up to my recent weekend retreat. Wednesday evening, the seeds of doubt were being planted…help out at the golf tournament like you have the past 3 years during the day on Friday, you know how much you enjoy doing that, and you said you would be able to help out…the dedication of the new stadium at St. Charles Catholic by Archbishop Aymond with Gayle Benson in attending also Friday evening…Kyle and Kathleen playing at Frenier Landing Friday night, you know you haven’t been in a while, there will probably be plenty of friends there, you know how much you will miss that…60th Wedding Anniversary for your Nanny and Uncle, you have to go to that, the family will be there, you can’t miss out on that… So, there I sat, thoughts running through my head, should I cancel, should I go, should I just try to make the next one, will I be upset if I go and miss all the activities at home, should I ignore the glaring sign that originally set my decision to go in motion? This went on into Thursday morning when I awoke, and lasted until midday, when I finally decided that I was definitely going.
Saturday night at the retreat, the realization hit me that it was Satan throwing those seeds of doubt in my garden and hoping they would take root quickly so I would choose not to go. He knew the power of this retreat, he knew that a great victory for him would be won if I did not attend. Those plans of his were spoiled. My lesson learned from this is to hopefully be able to recognize the times that Satan is trying to sway my actions or my faith, and to be able to fight through those times. I now know I would have totally regretted not attending the retreat this weekend, which leads me to the 2nd part of this post…retreats with Evan.
I was never lucky enough to have the chance to share a retreat with Evan like many fathers and sons do at Manresa. I was never able to take him with me. I know this is something he would have enjoyed immensely. His faith in and love of God would have grown by leaps and bounds with each passing retreat. His devotion to God, along with his speaking ability and leadership qualities would have made for one amazing retreat leader some day. This was my 3rd year attending Manresa since Evan’s passing, and each year I feel the loss and the sadness that comes with knowing I was never able to bring him here and that it took his death to get me here. The revelation hit me that Saturday morning…had he not passed, I may never have received the chance to share this with him or bring him with me on a retreat because I may not have attended any. The irony of the situation is that he was the one who brought me to Manresa. He is the one who is sharing the retreat with me. I can release that burden of guilt. That feeling is now gone because I know every time I step foot on the grounds at Manresa, he is there with me, watching over me, kneeling beside me as I pray, and sending inspiration so that I may continue his mission. Thank you Evan, for finally helping me realize that I don’t need to beat myself up with regret any longer. I Love you my son.
It is hard to believe that 2 years have passed since you were called home. Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts. All I can say is that it has not been an easy road to travel. The days are still good and bad. Thankfully, the bad days are now fewer and far between. Those selfish feelings still arise from time to time. I want you to still be here with us on earth. There have been many “Firsts” during those 2 years. We may have finally had the last of those firsts. I knew this one was going to be a somewhat difficult one to handle and I struggled with it from the first moment we booked the trip. There were mixed emotions, excitement and sorrow, good memories and feelings of emptiness. All of that leading up to the day we left. I had some rough moments at Disney in March, our first trip there without you, but I do know you are still with us in spirit and continue to show us that you are.
There were 3 signs from you that I witnessed during the trip. The first being while sitting in the car on a Saturday morning at the urgent care in Tallahassee, waiting to find out if we would be moving on to Disney, or heading back home. After the chaotic and time consuming exit from Louisiana (wrecks and rain), to the not being able to find a room until the 4th try (1/2 hour past Tallahassee), to your sister’s migraine and nausea that first night on the road, to the 1/2 hour drive back to Tallahassee the next morning to reach the nearest urgent care, I was feeling we were definitely heading back home. So, I decided to say a rosary while waiting, asking that things would go right and fall into place so we could enjoy this vacation. I no sooner finished the rosary when you showed up at the back window of the car, sitting on the wiper, tapping against the glass. I did not realize it was you at first. The second time you came back, tapping even harder and staying longer. That is when I saw you were a cardinal. That was when my mood started to change back to a positive outlook. I tried to get your picture, but you flew away. The third time you came, I was ready, and was barely able to snap a shot of you before you left, and those feelings of negativity were almost completely gone. Within minutes of your last visit, your mom texted saying your sister was doing so much better and they would be out in a minute and we would be on our way.
The second sign was the day later in the week when I was feeling tired and aggravated at Magic Kingdom (the reason being now escapes me). But any way, as I stood there waiting for the bus to arrive with 3 or 4 others, there was a skywriter starting to draw letters off in the distance. What would have been a boring situation, standing there doing nothing, turned into another sign of hope and happiness. As he finished spelling out “JESUS”, the bus showed up. The second part to this sign was while on the bus. As those of you who have been to Disney know, they don’t just pick up 3 or 4 people and head back to the resort. They wait a few minutes to see if others are coming or not. So as we waited, the driver stood up and was handing out stickers to the kids while other riders were getting on. As he came back to the front, where I was sitting, he looked at me and said with a smile, “One left, guess it’s your lucky day.” As I took the sticker, laughing, a wonderful feeling came over me. Evan’s favorite Disney Character was Sorcerer Mickey, and that just happened to be the sticker I received from the driver. Joy and sadness overtook my feelings of aggravation and the rest of the day turned out to be wonderful because I knew you played a part in my receiving that sticker.
The third sign was our last night in the Magic Kingdom, after eating dinner, by all means your mom wanted to be able to get a lantern picture of us by Rapunzel’s Tower. So we headed there as soon as we finished eating. For those who don’t know, this is a difficult thing to do because there is really no “X” marks the spot, stand here for pictures thing going on. The photographer doesn’t come out there until right before dusk so it is up to them as to where they want to start the line. We get there about 45 minutes before dusk and pick a spot to sit and wait, and hope that we can get a decent spot in line when they start. Before long, more people start to show up in the area, and you could tell they were all looking for the same thing. A couple of girls asked if we were waiting for the pictures and we told them yes. Apparently others had started forming a line along the wall with us behind the girls who inquired about it. The photographer comes out about 20 minutes before dusk and walks right up to us and asks if we are where the line starts for the Lantern Pictures. She talked with us for a while before going back in to get her camera. We were blessed once again and were first in line for the pictures that night.
Our Lantern picture…slightly modified.
As I have said on more than one occasion, there are no longer coincidences for me. There are only signs from a higher power. It is up to us to open our eyes and see Those signs when they are plainly right in front of us.
Let us pray. Lord, thank you for allowing our loved ones that You have called home to reveal their presence to us in our everyday lives. Thank you for making Yourself known to us through them as well, lifting our spirits and strengthening our faith in you, making the difficulty of losing a loved one somewhat easier to deal with. Although the road remains one of tremendous heartache to travel, it is through You that we are able to continue living out our days, until You finally call us home to be reunited in Christ. Grant all those who have lost loved ones a moment of peace in their heart and place a smile on their face today as we pray to You, for through You, all things are possible. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.
” Miracles occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them. “—Paulo Coelho
For those who do not know, I have always felt a closeness to St. Michael the Archangel. I chose him as my confirmation Saint. I used to pray the Chaplet of St. Michael regularly and shared it with my family (I do still work it into my prayer rotation). I have always felt like he was my Guardian Angel. On August 30th of 2018, I happened to be scrolling through Facebook after visiting with Evan and the first non-friend post that popped up was a link to the video ” Michael” by The Thirsting. I was immediately touched to find this and broke down in tears. I so needed this at that moment to lift my spirits and it worked. I commented on the video and also sent a message and email to the lead singer, Daniel Oberreuter, explaining to him the significance of seeing the post when I did and also telling him that I wanted to share a little more about it with him. He took the time to talk with me and I was able to share Evan’s story and my story since his passing, along with the story of the Septet.
The Thirsting is a Catholic Rock Band. Their sound is very diverse, hitting different genres and styles, providing songs for a variety of musical tastes. I think they are more geared to the younger generation, but those between teen years and their 50’s should find their music enjoyable, refreshing, and rewarding. Their songs are very inspirational and moving, borrowing from scripture, the mass, the sacraments, and everyday life events that we all go through and can relate to. Check them out. Give them a listen. Share them with your family. You won’t be disappointed. I will include the link to the video “Michael” as well as the link to their website. They have a Facebook page also. (Personal favorites are “Michael”, “Oceans of Mercy”, “Stepping Into the Day”, “Running”, and ” Come Hold My Son”)
I also highly recommend the Rosary recorded by Daniel and his wife. It is very beautiful and well done, spiritually relaxing while being prayed with gentle guitar playing in the background. This is what I use to pray along with in my car to and from work. You can find this as well as all their music on the website. You can also listen to the songs as well as the Rosary before purchase, and they also offer free downloads and offers of their music. (Click on the “STORE” tab on their web page to listen/try some selections). So, again, check them out. I don’t think you will be disappointed.
“Look to the future with commitment to a New Evangelization, one that is new in its ardor, new in its methods, and new in its expression.”—St. John Paul II.
This is a new day and age in which we live. Satan is coming at us from all angles and directions. Our faith as Christians is constantly under attack. Trials, temptations, and tribulations abound. This is just another weapon to add to our arsenal in the defense of our faith, our lives, and our very souls. Prayer and worship to the Lord in whatever way possible is what we must strive to do. Sing out to the Lord. Spread His message to all who will listen. Keep strong in the faith and keep your eyes and ears open for the signs that God is sending to you. I know it has made a difference in my life.
Why did I choose this as the name for my blog? The Armor of God passage from Ephesians 6:10-24 was the passage I shared with Evan in my letter to him for his Senior Retreat. It has become near and dear to my heart and an integral part of my grief and depression therapy, as well as the catalyst that spawned the Armor of God Septet. This Septet is a devotional that I arranged in memory of Evan, and with the help of Fr. Garrett O’Brien, I received approval from Archbishop Gregory Aymond of New Orleans to share it with others as a devotional, to be prayed like the Rosary or other Chaplets and Devotions. The “E7” is derived from “E”van and his soccer number, “7”. Those are the reasons for choosing the name as it is.
(Evan was called home on 4/2/2017 at the age of 17. This is a portion of the letter I sent to
Archbishop Gregory Aymond of New Orleans.
He approved this septet to be used and spread as a devotional prayer on
12/5/2017.)
I just wanted to give you a little backstory on my reasons for doing this and how the septet came about. I used to pray the St. Michael’s Chaplet daily. I taught Evan the chaplet as well. He prayed that chaplet, the rosary, and other prayers. The first 4 months after his passing were tremendously tough for me. I was struggling to hold on to my faith, feeling selfish for wanting my son back, and being self-destructive while still trying to keep everything together. Along the way, I found things Evan had written, such as papers or essays for school, a journal he kept, his prayer cards and books, and his bibles. I knew he had a strong faith, but I did not realize the magnitude of his faith. I also know how much he prayed, not only to praise God, but also for help in the struggles of everyday normal teenage life in a world full of trials and tribulations. Also, during that period, I came across the letter I had written to him for his Senior Retreat. In this letter, I shared Ephesians 6:10-24 with him. Though I did not see it fully yet, that was the beginning of the inspiration. I never would have imagined in sharing that passage with him then, would it take on this new meaning for me because of his death. I shared that scripture passage on Facebook, explaining how I shared the passage with him in his retreat letter. Some friends of ours called and said they had something to share with us if we had time. The friend brought me a piece of wood that was in his barn where he says his prayers. On that piece of wood was the passage, as well as a picture of St. Michael. He said something told him, when he saw the passage on Facebook, that he needed to give the wood scripture passage to me. This was another sign, all though not fully understood yet.
Fast forward to the weekend of August 17th-20th
2017. I was given the opportunity
to attend the weekend retreat at Manresa.
I had the pleasure of having Greg Raymond as the retreat master. All I can say is my life changed
tremendously. The program for the
weekend put me back on track, recharged my spiritual batteries, and put me in a
position that I haven’t felt in many years.
I have never felt closer to God, than I did at Manresa. Since then, my
spiritual life has changed dramatically.
I pray daily now, morning and night, and during the day when I find
quiet time. I actually turn off the
radio on my way to and from work and use that silent time to pray. This has provided me an hour each day, that I
work, to pray. It has also made my road
rage almost non-existent and helps clear my mind of everything but God. I also began saying the St. Michael Chaplet
again. That was the second step of the
inspiration to do this. I was able to
get my prayer life back in order and on track.
It is hard for me to sit at home by myself since Evan’s
passing. Sometimes, I would just sit and
stare at the walls, or his pictures, or just off into space, with no desire to
do anything or nothing to occupy that idle time. In years past, I would make beaded rosaries
and chaplets. I also made knotted twine
rosaries and chaplets. I hadn’t made any
in years until after All Saint’s Day 2017.
That was a rough day for me. I
said numerous St. Michael Chaplets that day by family and friend’s graves. That was when I decided to start making the
twine chaplets. I decided to make quite
a few St. Michael Chaplets to occupy my time, and also to donate to St. Charles
Catholic when they dedicate the chapel.
I want to place them by the statue of St. Michael that they are supposed
to be putting there in memory of Evan.
That was the third sign of the inspiration. I was sitting on the sofa making a chaplet
when the inspiration came to me. Create
a chaplet, or septet as I have called it, in remembrance of Evan. Seven, being Evan’s soccer jersey number, and
also the number of God throughout scripture, a very powerful number. When I finished the chaplet that I was
working on, I began to create the septet.
One large knot, followed by seven small knots, repeated seven times to form the circle. On the drop to the cross, seven knots. So here I am with the completed septet and need to decide on what the prayers used should be. I figured the five I say continuously on my way to and from work would fit. The Our Father, the Hail Mary, Glory Be, Fatima Prayer, Hail Holy Queen would be the first five prayers of each septet. On Sunday, November 12th, 2017, after mass, I sat down and started going through prayer books and online to see which other prayers would work best to complete and fill in the prayer spots that needed to be filled.
Wood gifted to us with one of the Septets.
My first step was to complete the list of seven prayers for
each septet. I already had the first
five chosen. I wanted to include St.
Michael’s Prayer so that got me to six.
While going through prayers, I came across Come Holy Spirit and it just
jumped off the page to me. It spoke to
me and let me secure the seven septet prayers.
The next step was to figure out which prayers to use as
concluding prayers on the drop knots toward the cross. St. Francis Prayer was definitely my first
choice. Evan loved St. Francis. He was so happy to follow in his footsteps on
their trip to Rome. The rest of the
prayers began to fall into place as I searched.
St Augustine’s Prayer to the Holy Spirit for strength in the defense of
faith. The Prayer for the Unborn because
of Evan’s strong opposition to abortion.
The Prayer for Our Country because of his patriotism, love of country,
and desire to serve in the military. The
Prayer for All Humanity because of his strong desire to make this world a
better place and help all those in need.
Give Me Strength Lord really spoke to me when I read it, and I did not
as of yet realize just how much it fit into the grand theme of the septet. And conclude with the Thank You God Prayer
because it sums up the whole purpose or reason we pray, to give thanks to
God. Fr. Matthew Johnston made that
clear in his homily at morning mass on November 15th, 2017. To finish up the prayers, I decided to
include the Agnus Dei on the cross, before concluding the septet with the Sign
of the Cross. Evan loved serving the
Latin masses with Fr. Garrett O’Brien.
That is why I wanted to include the Agnus Dei.
I sat there, organizing the prayers in the order to be said
and proof reading the septet explanation, and realized something was missing to
tie the whole septet together. The
Rosary has Mysteries, St. Michael’s Chaplet has Salutations, so what could I
come up with for the intro to each septet.
I just wasn’t sure if I should come up with some inspirational line for
each one or make up a prayer or intention for each one. So, I sat on the sofa, contemplating what to
do, when I glanced to my left and saw the piece of wood given to me with the
Armor of God scripture on it. I pulled
up the scripture and started to dissect it so it would fit into each septet
properly and appropriately.
The passage fits the theme of the septet perfectly. The power of prayer, the need for prayer, the
calling out to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit for help in our
daily lives, the intercession of Mary, our Mother, the Angels and Saints, to
feed off of the word of God and strengthen our relationship with Him, to ask
for His help and protection to make it through each day, to strive to be a
better person each day, to fight off the snares and temptations of Satan, and
to spread the gospel and love of God.
On the soccer field, Evan’s position was that of a
defender. In life, he was a defender of
the faith, of the weak, of the unborn, and of our country. He believed in service to God, country, and
others. He was never in it for his own
personal gains. He was always thinking
of others over himself. I really think
that his desire to serve in the military was the main thing stopping him from
choosing a life in the priesthood. He
believed in spreading the word and love of God to others. I feel obligated to continue the work he
started, which is to try and help all that we can and bring them closer to God,
and in doing so, bring ourselves closer to God through deeds and prayer. I know it may not be the same as the visions
at Fatima, or the visions that Antonia d’Astonac, or any others who were able
to experience such wonders, but it was definitely inspiration brought upon me
from a higher power. Everything came
together all at once to create this.
Since Evan’s passing, I have become more aware of things such
as signs and other things that once might have been passed off as coincidence. It was no coincidence that I shared the Armor
of God passage with Evan in his Senior Retreat letter, or on Facebook, or
receiving the piece of wood. It is no
coincidence that a spot at Manresa, which is always hard to come by, was
available to me, or that Greg Raymond was retreat master that weekend, or my
going to mass more often and praying more and starting to make twine chaplets
again. To me, there are no coincidences
anymore. My eyes have been opened to see
things more clearly. I hate the fact that
it took Evan’s death to get me closer to God, but without his death, none of
this would have happened. I kept
ignoring the signs I was being shown, or just wasn’t looking at them in the
correct light. I also did not realize
the amount of people that Evan touched in his much too short life. We still have people sharing stories with us
of things we had no idea that he had done, or how much of an inspiration that
he was to them.
In conclusion, the septet serves a two-fold purpose for me. One, it was inspired by the life, values, and beliefs of Evan, which allows me to keep him near me and feel his presence even more when I recite it. Secondly, it allows me to share a part of him with everyone else who knew him or did not know him and allow him to continue his mission of serving the Lord by helping others and bringing them closer to God through scripture and prayer.
There it is. The story behind the name “Armor of God – E7” and the inspiration for the creation of the Armor of God Septet Devotional.
God Bless You All,
You Are in My Prayers,
Scott
(If you are interested in getting a septet and pamphlet on how to pray the devotional, contact me on here or through Facebook and I will do all I can to get it to you. I do not charge anything for them, but do accept donations to cover the costs of twine and pamphlets.)
“God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and the muddy colors and we only get a hint at the true beauty that would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side…as God does.”— Daredevil, (from Season Three of the series “Daredevil” on Netflix
One of three or four quotes that will appear here from the Daredevil Series, spoken either by Daredevil himself or Father Lantom. Daredevil, the blind Marvel Superhero who watches over Hell’s Kitchen, was raised in a Catholic Orphanage and constantly seeks counsel from Fr. Lantom. This quote was a sign to me. Evan and I used to watch Daredevil together, as well as Arrow, Gotham, and the Flash (the last 3 named I have not been able to watch since his passing). It just so happened that the night I was watching this episode, everyone else was in bed, so I had the volume down and captions on (something I hate doing, but wanted to finish watching the episode). Any way, without the captions on, I probably would not have caught the quote, or paid as much attention to it. I immediately stopped it, grabbed a notebook and pen, and proceeded to play it back, frame by frame to ensure that I could write down the quote exactly. What you read below is the inspiration that followed shortly after.
November 21, 2018—So there it is. God’s plan, in all its beauty is not made visible to us until the day we join Him and are called home to Him. All we are allowed to see are the various parts that make up the plan. It is beyond our comprehension. And these parts that we see, or live out, or are a part of, are just that…parts and pieces that come together to make the whole thing that is our life here. That is why at times we may question the events in our lives, our heartaches, loss of loved ones, or any other misfortune that we may encounter throughout our lives. That is when our free will becomes a major part in the roles of our existence. It is through these rough patches that our faith and beliefs are called into play, to make the decisions that we must, to choose how we are going to handle each situation. To have the belief that our Father is with us, right beside us, every step of the way. To have the faith that these occurrences are part of the plan laid out for us by God. To pray that we make the right decisions, to carry forth and live our lives for Him, with the help of the Trinity, Mother Mary, and all the angels and saints. To stand firm and accept our sufferings and offer them up to Christ. To move forward as we strive for our eternal rewards.
He holds the strands of thread and weaves them a certain way. We are part of that weaving process as well, altering His placement into the tapestry with our decisions and actions. We will not see the beauty of the whole picture until the work is complete.
Let us pray. Lord, as you weave the tapestries of our life, grant us the patience to accept the designs you add to it and accept that you are weaving it in a certain way, for the betterment of our soul. Grant us the strength that we need to remain in Your light and make the decisions that will continue to beautify Your work of art. Strengthen our faith through the Holy Spirit that we may continue to grow and mature in our love for You. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” —C. S. Lewis
I am sure that I missed many opportunities to see and hear what the Lord was showing me or trying to tell me. Little, subtle signs that I never realized were all around me. I was so wrapped up in my own self-centered world that I was failing to see the signs I was being shown or the messages that were being sent to me. Not everyone is lucky enough to witness a “burning bush” or “parting of the Red Sea”. Unfortunately, for me, that “Wake Up!” sign was the death of Evan.
I was blind and deaf to the signs and calling that God was revealing to me. I was not standing in the right place spiritually. I was heading in the wrong direction, a lost traveler, wandering from the guided path. I needed to get back on track and follow the correct route and remain there, heading in the direction I should have been going all along. I had the preconceived notions that I was living as I should be, doing what I was supposed to do, and to some extent, I was. But the fact of the matter is, I was only partially there.
Like a scrimmage at the first practice of the off-season, I was going through the motions. The drive and desire was not fully there because I was not fully in the game whole-heartedly. I went into it thinking I was better than I actually was. I had been on the team for a while and thought I had it made. I’m doing awesome, I got this. Any coach who knows his players and what they are capable of doing, also knows the potential in those players and can see when they are not giving it their all. Well, the coach blew his whistle and stopped practice. He called me to the side and said, ” As you know, we have lost an important leader on our team. He has graduated now and moved on to better things. It’s time for you to step up. I can see the potential within you. Your teammates will be looking to you for guidance and strength. But no more half-hearted efforts. I want you fully committed, 100% to the team. I know you can do this, or I would not have pulled you to the side to have this talk. I need you to be a leader on this team. So tell me son…Where Do You Stand?”
Evan was called home. I attended Manresa and received my pep talk. The new season has begun. I saw where I was standing and realized where I needed to be.
Let us pray. Lord, as we go through this game of life, open our eyes and ears to see your signs and hear your calls. Give us guidance to set our feet in the right direction, heading on the correct path. Grant us the strength to be leaders of Your team and inspire others to join with us. Most of all, Lord, help us to come to the realization of where we must stand to better live our lives and glorify You until our season ends. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.
