Category: Trust in the Lord

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Retreats with Evan

Our God is an Awesome God. Praise the Lord, my soul. There are no coincidences any more, only signs from above. In August, I was delighted to be able to sign up to attend the Men’s ACTS Retreat. It fell on my weekend off and also concluded on September 29th, the Feast Day of St. Michael the Archangel. That was sign enough for me to see I was meant to attend that retreat on that particular weekend. Just to show you how Satan works on us, I would like to explain the evening leading up to my recent weekend retreat. Wednesday evening, the seeds of doubt were being planted…help out at the golf tournament like you have the past 3 years during the day on Friday, you know how much you enjoy doing that, and you said you would be able to help out…the dedication of the new stadium at St. Charles Catholic by Archbishop Aymond with Gayle Benson in attending also Friday evening…Kyle and Kathleen playing at Frenier Landing Friday night, you know you haven’t been in a while, there will probably be plenty of friends there, you know how much you will miss that…60th Wedding Anniversary for your Nanny and Uncle, you have to go to that, the family will be there, you can’t miss out on that… So, there I sat, thoughts running through my head, should I cancel, should I go, should I just try to make the next one, will I be upset if I go and miss all the activities at home, should I ignore the glaring sign that originally set my decision to go in motion? This went on into Thursday morning when I awoke, and lasted until midday, when I finally decided that I was definitely going.

Saturday night at the retreat, the realization hit me that it was Satan throwing those seeds of doubt in my garden and hoping they would take root quickly so I would choose not to go. He knew the power of this retreat, he knew that a great victory for him would be won if I did not attend. Those plans of his were spoiled. My lesson learned from this is to hopefully be able to recognize the times that Satan is trying to sway my actions or my faith, and to be able to fight through those times. I now know I would have totally regretted not attending the retreat this weekend, which leads me to the 2nd part of this post…retreats with Evan.

I was never lucky enough to have the chance to share a retreat with Evan like many fathers and sons do at Manresa. I was never able to take him with me. I know this is something he would have enjoyed immensely. His faith in and love of God would have grown by leaps and bounds with each passing retreat. His devotion to God, along with his speaking ability and leadership qualities would have made for one amazing retreat leader some day. This was my 3rd year attending Manresa since Evan’s passing, and each year I feel the loss and the sadness that comes with knowing I was never able to bring him here and that it took his death to get me here. The revelation hit me that Saturday morning…had he not passed, I may never have received the chance to share this with him or bring him with me on a retreat because I may not have attended any. The irony of the situation is that he was the one who brought me to Manresa. He is the one who is sharing the retreat with me. I can release that burden of guilt. That feeling is now gone because I know every time I step foot on the grounds at Manresa, he is there with me, watching over me, kneeling beside me as I pray, and sending inspiration so that I may continue his mission. Thank you Evan, for finally helping me realize that I don’t need to beat myself up with regret any longer. I Love you my son.

God Bless You All,

You Are In My Prayers

Scott

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2 Years Since You Were Called Home

2 years ago, you were called home. Not your home on earth, but the home we all strive for and hope to obtain. In the days that followed, I came across this song below which helped me somewhat understand your being called from us. It was a revelation to me that we are not here for what is here on earth, but for what we look forward to being a part of in the next life with Christ. I realized then that you knew this already, and you had prepared yourself for what was to come.

Building 429 – “Where I Belong”

Not long after Christmas, I purchased “Day by Day with St. Francis”, short, daily meditations with a quote about St. Francis by St. Bonaventure, a reflection on that quote, and a prayer from scripture pertaining to it. Evan loved St. Francis so I decided to get it. As God would have it, March 31st meditation brought me back to reflecting on Evan’s life. His devotion to Christ and the Eucharist that he practiced as an Altar Server for many years, his devotion to the Blessed Mother through praying the Rosary, his devotion through the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel, as well as his devotions to St. Stephen (his confirmation Saint) and St. Francis.

From “Day by Day with St. Francis” March 31st

The above meditation, coupled with the meditation for today, April 2nd, tied up everything in a perfect package for me. I know he was prepared for his untimely death. I did not see that until after he was gone, but I knew he had been taking the steps needed to become closer to Christ. It became even more evident when I read some of his journal entries, as well as some of his essays for school. He was more prepared at 17 than I have ever been in my 50 years. I am not saying that he was a martyr, but I know he would have been without any hesitation. That was how strong his faith in and love of Christ was. I pray that I still have enough time left to reach the levels that he did in my own faith, before my time comes.


From “Day by Day with St. Francis” April 2nd

We do not know the day or the hour, but we must always be ready. Preparation is the key to being ready when we are called home. Thank you Evan, for showing that to me. I was truly blessed to be chosen as your father on earth. It is an honor to call you son.

Let us pray. Father, grant us the strength each day, to live our lives in Your honor, to follow Your path to the best of our ability, and to be prepared when our time may come. Help us to stand firm in our faith for You and not be swayed, so that we may be greeted with arms wide open into Your House for all eternity. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.

You Are in My Prayers,

Scott

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In His Words…

“Precisely because we cannot predict the moment, we must be ready at all moments.”—C. S. Lewis

The 2nd day of the New Year, 2019, and 21 months since Evan’s passing. A new year always brings around the resolutions that we try to live up to. We have all heard the usual ones that come up all the time. Lose weight, exercise, quit smoking, etc. I could fill half a page with them. I just wanted to share with you, words written by Evan in December of 2014, that I may continue to share his faith with others and spread the word and love of God.

Written by Evan Simoneaux 12/2014

I know it is not the typical New Year’s Resolution, but it seems like a good thing to try to put into practice for the New Year. I wish all of you a Blessed and Happy New Year.

You are in my Prayers,

Scott

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God’s Plan

“God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and the muddy colors and we only get a hint at the true beauty that would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side…as God does.”— Daredevil, (from Season Three of the series “Daredevil” on Netflix

One of three or four quotes that will appear here from the Daredevil Series, spoken either by Daredevil himself or Father Lantom. Daredevil, the blind Marvel Superhero who watches over Hell’s Kitchen, was raised in a Catholic Orphanage and constantly seeks counsel from Fr. Lantom. This quote was a sign to me. Evan and I used to watch Daredevil together, as well as Arrow, Gotham, and the Flash (the last 3 named I have not been able to watch since his passing). It just so happened that the night I was watching this episode, everyone else was in bed, so I had the volume down and captions on (something I hate doing, but wanted to finish watching the episode). Any way, without the captions on, I probably would not have caught the quote, or paid as much attention to it. I immediately stopped it, grabbed a notebook and pen, and proceeded to play it back, frame by frame to ensure that I could write down the quote exactly. What you read below is the inspiration that followed shortly after.

November 21, 2018—So there it is. God’s plan, in all its beauty is not made visible to us until the day we join Him and are called home to Him. All we are allowed to see are the various parts that make up the plan. It is beyond our comprehension. And these parts that we see, or live out, or are a part of, are just that…parts and pieces that come together to make the whole thing that is our life here. That is why at times we may question the events in our lives, our heartaches, loss of loved ones, or any other misfortune that we may encounter throughout our lives. That is when our free will becomes a major part in the roles of our existence. It is through these rough patches that our faith and beliefs are called into play, to make the decisions that we must, to choose how we are going to handle each situation. To have the belief that our Father is with us, right beside us, every step of the way. To have the faith that these occurrences are part of the plan laid out for us by God. To pray that we make the right decisions, to carry forth and live our lives for Him, with the help of the Trinity, Mother Mary, and all the angels and saints. To stand firm and accept our sufferings and offer them up to Christ. To move forward as we strive for our eternal rewards.

He holds the strands of thread and weaves them a certain way. We are part of that weaving process as well, altering His placement into the tapestry with our decisions and actions. We will not see the beauty of the whole picture until the work is complete.

Let us pray. Lord, as you weave the tapestries of our life, grant us the patience to accept the designs you add to it and accept that you are weaving it in a certain way, for the betterment of our soul. Grant us the strength that we need to remain in Your light and make the decisions that will continue to beautify Your work of art. Strengthen our faith through the Holy Spirit that we may continue to grow and mature in our love for You. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.

God Bless You All,

You are in my prayers

Scott

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Where Do You Stand?

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.  It also depends on what sort of person you are.”     —C. S. Lewis

I am sure that I missed many opportunities to see and hear what the Lord was showing me or trying to tell me.  Little, subtle signs that I never realized were all around me.  I was so wrapped up in my own self-centered world that I was failing to see the signs I was being shown or the messages that were being sent to me.  Not everyone is lucky enough to witness a “burning bush” or “parting of the Red Sea”.  Unfortunately, for me, that “Wake Up!” sign was the death of Evan.

I was blind and deaf to the signs and calling that God was revealing to me.  I was not standing in the right place spiritually.  I was heading in the wrong direction, a lost traveler, wandering from the guided path.  I needed to get back on track and follow the correct route and remain there, heading in the direction I should have been going all along.  I had the preconceived notions that I was living as I should be, doing what I was supposed to do, and to some extent, I was.  But the fact of the matter is, I was only partially there.

Like a scrimmage at the first practice of the off-season, I was going through the motions.  The drive and desire was not fully there because I was not fully in the game whole-heartedly.  I went into it thinking I was better than I actually was.  I had been on the team for a while and thought I had it made.  I’m doing awesome, I got this.  Any coach who knows his players and what they are capable of doing, also knows the potential in those players and can see when they are not giving it their all.  Well, the coach blew his whistle and stopped practice.  He called me to the side and said, ” As you know, we have lost an important leader on our team.  He has graduated now and moved on to better things.  It’s time for you to step up.  I can see the potential within you.  Your teammates will be looking to you for guidance and strength.  But no more half-hearted efforts. I want you fully committed, 100% to the team.  I know you can do this, or I would not have pulled you to the side to have this talk.  I need you to be a leader on this team.  So tell me son…Where Do You Stand?”

Evan was called home.  I attended Manresa and received my pep talk.  The new season has begun.  I saw where I was standing and realized where I needed to be.

Let us pray.  Lord, as we go through this game of life, open our eyes and ears to see your signs and hear your calls.  Give us guidance to set our feet in the right direction, heading on the correct path.  Grant us the strength to be leaders of Your team and inspire others to join with us.  Most of all, Lord, help us to come to the realization of where we must stand to better live our lives and glorify You until our season ends.  In Your Name we pray.  AMEN.

God Bless You All,

You Are In My Prayers,

Scott

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Therapeutic Writing

“Whenever you are fed up with life, start writing: ink is the great cure for all human ills, as I have found out long ago.”—C. S. Lewis

I have been writing off and on since high school.  There were times when words would flow effortlessly and times when they were nonexistent.  I always looked at it as a hobby, something to share with others if I felt like it, or to keep to my self if needed.  I never really looked at it as a cure until the passing of Evan.  Writing has helped me express my feelings of sorrow and grief.  Pen and paper became my counselors.  It was much easier for me to divulge the feelings inside in ink than it was for me to actually speak about them openly to others.  Sure, there were some friends that I was able to openly share with, but still and all, the most open and receptive ear was that white lined marble notebook.  I could bare all and open my heart and soul freely.  I was able to scribble down and jot ideas, thoughts and feelings as incoherently as I wanted.  This allowed me to choose the correct words and express exactly what I was trying to say.  I could make amendments to what was written, or rearrange the lineup so that ideas and statements would flow properly and make sense, as opposed to the jumbled, mumbled, mashed up scramble that make up spoken words when one may be under the stress of everyday life and the situations it brings upon us.

My inspirations came in many forms over the years.  Love, nature, vampires, experience, searching, death, faith, and God.  Some writings were part of word challenges, photo challenges, forms of poetry challenges, or topical challenges.  Some were poems about poetry, poets, or even about writer’s block.  These many topics have all had a hand in shaping me and preparing me for what I now write about, which is, the message I hope to get across to you, the readers.  The years that are beneath me have been the tune-up to find my voice, or should I say, the fountain for my quill.

My ability to convey through writing far outweighs my ability to speak publicly (something I prefer not to partake in).  All this time, God has been preparing me, though I did not know it , and only after recent events am I becoming more aware of what He is calling me to do.  I do believe I have been called to spread the Word and Love of our Lord to all that I can, based on all that I have been made aware of and have witnessed since Evan’s death.  My prayers are that all who come to read what I share, do so with and open mind and heart so that the Holy Spirit may fill them and open their eyes to our Lord.

In closing, yes, ink has become a cure of sorts.  I guess you could even say that I have been getting immunized in the past by writing.  It has allowed me to open up and share with others, the inspirations that have been given to me by the Holy Spirit.  It has allowed me to get through the grief and depression I was suffering from and accept the death of my precious son.  It has become the therapy which, I pray, will enable me to see him once again with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ some day.  It will help me to continue Evan’s mission of spreading the word of God and trying to live out the rest of my days for His Greater Glory.

In His Name Always,

You are in my prayers,

Scott

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The Power of Prayer

“I pray because I can’t help myself.  I pray because I am helpless.  It doesn’t change God–it changes me.”—-C. S. Lewis

 

Nothing is more self-evident than this quote by C. S. Lewis.  Prayer does not change God.  He is, was, and always will be the same…the Alpha and the Omega, the same loving Father, unchanged.  His love for us remains the same always, sinner or saint.  He loves us as we are.  The thing that changes, or makes a difference is our love for Him.  Our love for Him changes through our prayer habits.  Our devotion to God the Father, His Son, the Holy Spirit, and our Blessed Mother brings about the changes inside of us.  In prayer, we get to talk with the Lord one on one.  We have the chance to open our hearts and soul to Him.  We can develop a greater relationship with our Father, who only asks 2 things of us–Love Him above all others, and love our neighbors.

Since the passing of Evan, I definitely learned that I could not survive on my own.  I could not help myself.  I was truly helpless.  It was only through Him that I saw the way out of the darkness.  There was no other solution.  The grief and depression would have swallowed me whole, consumed me from the inside until all that was left would have been an empty shell.  Prayer is what changed me.  Prayer is what brought me back from being dead to Christ.  My faith in our Father was the only thing holding me here.  It was prayer that ensured I would be saved.  Not only my own prayers, but the prayers of all my family and friends, our community, and their friends.  You must remember, even if you are not praying yourself, someone, somewhere, here or gone, is praying for you.  It is unfathomable to realize the number of those who are praying for you that you are totally unaware of.  Always be mindful and thankful of that fact.

Developing a better prayer life is much easier than you might imagine.  After my first retreat at Manresa, I realized how easy it was to make time for prayer, or should I say find time to pray.  I found that time driving home from the retreat that weekend.  No radio.  Just prayers the whole way home.  I incorporated that into my drive to and from work every day, and have been doing so since August of 2017.  Basically a 40 minute round trip.  At first I would just pray and meditate on common prayers, (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be), but it evolved into adding more prayers into the mix, which led to the creation of a whole new devotional which I will explain in a future post.  I also learned that a complete Rosary can be said in that 20 minute time frame and that has made a huge difference in my mood getting to and arriving home each day.

All I am trying to say is that it’s not hard to slip prayers in throughout the day.  Like myself, I found numerous chances with idle time on my hands and mind to slip in a prayer here or there.  Any quiet time you find will do.  An Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, St. Michael’s Prayer, whatever your favorite prayer may be.  Even something as simple as “Jesus, I Trust in You” works well, especially if you meditate on those words and truly put your trust in the hands of Jesus.  There truly is no right or wrong way to pray.  Give the Lord some of the precious time He has graciously given to you.  Thank Him for allowing you to partake in the glory that awaits you, the room in His house, and the feast at his table.

Since this rejuvenation of my prayer life, I am more at peace with myself and others, my road rage has become a thing of the past…(for the most part), because I am in prayer mode and don’t let petty inconveniences on the road get to me like they used to.  So, all I ask of you is this-give it a try.  Make time for prayer throughout the day.  Talk with the Lord for help to get through the day.  Thank Him for all He has blessed you with.  You won’t be disappointed.  And when you start to see that change, you will realize, as Mr. Lewis said, God is not changed by prayer, but we as believers are.

God Bless You Brothers and Sisters,

You are in my prayers,

Scott