Category: Will of God

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Retreats with Evan

Our God is an Awesome God. Praise the Lord, my soul. There are no coincidences any more, only signs from above. In August, I was delighted to be able to sign up to attend the Men’s ACTS Retreat. It fell on my weekend off and also concluded on September 29th, the Feast Day of St. Michael the Archangel. That was sign enough for me to see I was meant to attend that retreat on that particular weekend. Just to show you how Satan works on us, I would like to explain the evening leading up to my recent weekend retreat. Wednesday evening, the seeds of doubt were being planted…help out at the golf tournament like you have the past 3 years during the day on Friday, you know how much you enjoy doing that, and you said you would be able to help out…the dedication of the new stadium at St. Charles Catholic by Archbishop Aymond with Gayle Benson in attending also Friday evening…Kyle and Kathleen playing at Frenier Landing Friday night, you know you haven’t been in a while, there will probably be plenty of friends there, you know how much you will miss that…60th Wedding Anniversary for your Nanny and Uncle, you have to go to that, the family will be there, you can’t miss out on that… So, there I sat, thoughts running through my head, should I cancel, should I go, should I just try to make the next one, will I be upset if I go and miss all the activities at home, should I ignore the glaring sign that originally set my decision to go in motion? This went on into Thursday morning when I awoke, and lasted until midday, when I finally decided that I was definitely going.

Saturday night at the retreat, the realization hit me that it was Satan throwing those seeds of doubt in my garden and hoping they would take root quickly so I would choose not to go. He knew the power of this retreat, he knew that a great victory for him would be won if I did not attend. Those plans of his were spoiled. My lesson learned from this is to hopefully be able to recognize the times that Satan is trying to sway my actions or my faith, and to be able to fight through those times. I now know I would have totally regretted not attending the retreat this weekend, which leads me to the 2nd part of this post…retreats with Evan.

I was never lucky enough to have the chance to share a retreat with Evan like many fathers and sons do at Manresa. I was never able to take him with me. I know this is something he would have enjoyed immensely. His faith in and love of God would have grown by leaps and bounds with each passing retreat. His devotion to God, along with his speaking ability and leadership qualities would have made for one amazing retreat leader some day. This was my 3rd year attending Manresa since Evan’s passing, and each year I feel the loss and the sadness that comes with knowing I was never able to bring him here and that it took his death to get me here. The revelation hit me that Saturday morning…had he not passed, I may never have received the chance to share this with him or bring him with me on a retreat because I may not have attended any. The irony of the situation is that he was the one who brought me to Manresa. He is the one who is sharing the retreat with me. I can release that burden of guilt. That feeling is now gone because I know every time I step foot on the grounds at Manresa, he is there with me, watching over me, kneeling beside me as I pray, and sending inspiration so that I may continue his mission. Thank you Evan, for finally helping me realize that I don’t need to beat myself up with regret any longer. I Love you my son.

God Bless You All,

You Are In My Prayers

Scott

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2 Years Since You Were Called Home

2 years ago, you were called home. Not your home on earth, but the home we all strive for and hope to obtain. In the days that followed, I came across this song below which helped me somewhat understand your being called from us. It was a revelation to me that we are not here for what is here on earth, but for what we look forward to being a part of in the next life with Christ. I realized then that you knew this already, and you had prepared yourself for what was to come.

Building 429 – “Where I Belong”

Not long after Christmas, I purchased “Day by Day with St. Francis”, short, daily meditations with a quote about St. Francis by St. Bonaventure, a reflection on that quote, and a prayer from scripture pertaining to it. Evan loved St. Francis so I decided to get it. As God would have it, March 31st meditation brought me back to reflecting on Evan’s life. His devotion to Christ and the Eucharist that he practiced as an Altar Server for many years, his devotion to the Blessed Mother through praying the Rosary, his devotion through the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel, as well as his devotions to St. Stephen (his confirmation Saint) and St. Francis.

From “Day by Day with St. Francis” March 31st

The above meditation, coupled with the meditation for today, April 2nd, tied up everything in a perfect package for me. I know he was prepared for his untimely death. I did not see that until after he was gone, but I knew he had been taking the steps needed to become closer to Christ. It became even more evident when I read some of his journal entries, as well as some of his essays for school. He was more prepared at 17 than I have ever been in my 50 years. I am not saying that he was a martyr, but I know he would have been without any hesitation. That was how strong his faith in and love of Christ was. I pray that I still have enough time left to reach the levels that he did in my own faith, before my time comes.


From “Day by Day with St. Francis” April 2nd

We do not know the day or the hour, but we must always be ready. Preparation is the key to being ready when we are called home. Thank you Evan, for showing that to me. I was truly blessed to be chosen as your father on earth. It is an honor to call you son.

Let us pray. Father, grant us the strength each day, to live our lives in Your honor, to follow Your path to the best of our ability, and to be prepared when our time may come. Help us to stand firm in our faith for You and not be swayed, so that we may be greeted with arms wide open into Your House for all eternity. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.

You Are in My Prayers,

Scott

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God’s Plan

“God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and the muddy colors and we only get a hint at the true beauty that would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side…as God does.”— Daredevil, (from Season Three of the series “Daredevil” on Netflix

One of three or four quotes that will appear here from the Daredevil Series, spoken either by Daredevil himself or Father Lantom. Daredevil, the blind Marvel Superhero who watches over Hell’s Kitchen, was raised in a Catholic Orphanage and constantly seeks counsel from Fr. Lantom. This quote was a sign to me. Evan and I used to watch Daredevil together, as well as Arrow, Gotham, and the Flash (the last 3 named I have not been able to watch since his passing). It just so happened that the night I was watching this episode, everyone else was in bed, so I had the volume down and captions on (something I hate doing, but wanted to finish watching the episode). Any way, without the captions on, I probably would not have caught the quote, or paid as much attention to it. I immediately stopped it, grabbed a notebook and pen, and proceeded to play it back, frame by frame to ensure that I could write down the quote exactly. What you read below is the inspiration that followed shortly after.

November 21, 2018—So there it is. God’s plan, in all its beauty is not made visible to us until the day we join Him and are called home to Him. All we are allowed to see are the various parts that make up the plan. It is beyond our comprehension. And these parts that we see, or live out, or are a part of, are just that…parts and pieces that come together to make the whole thing that is our life here. That is why at times we may question the events in our lives, our heartaches, loss of loved ones, or any other misfortune that we may encounter throughout our lives. That is when our free will becomes a major part in the roles of our existence. It is through these rough patches that our faith and beliefs are called into play, to make the decisions that we must, to choose how we are going to handle each situation. To have the belief that our Father is with us, right beside us, every step of the way. To have the faith that these occurrences are part of the plan laid out for us by God. To pray that we make the right decisions, to carry forth and live our lives for Him, with the help of the Trinity, Mother Mary, and all the angels and saints. To stand firm and accept our sufferings and offer them up to Christ. To move forward as we strive for our eternal rewards.

He holds the strands of thread and weaves them a certain way. We are part of that weaving process as well, altering His placement into the tapestry with our decisions and actions. We will not see the beauty of the whole picture until the work is complete.

Let us pray. Lord, as you weave the tapestries of our life, grant us the patience to accept the designs you add to it and accept that you are weaving it in a certain way, for the betterment of our soul. Grant us the strength that we need to remain in Your light and make the decisions that will continue to beautify Your work of art. Strengthen our faith through the Holy Spirit that we may continue to grow and mature in our love for You. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.

God Bless You All,

You are in my prayers

Scott