Quite Possibly Our Last-First

It is hard to believe that 2 years have passed since you were called home. Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts. All I can say is that it has not been an easy road to travel. The days are still good and bad. Thankfully, the bad days are now fewer and far between. Those selfish feelings still arise from time to time. I want you to still be here with us on earth. There have been many “Firsts” during those 2 years. We may have finally had the last of those firsts. I knew this one was going to be a somewhat difficult one to handle and I struggled with it from the first moment we booked the trip. There were mixed emotions, excitement and sorrow, good memories and feelings of emptiness. All of that leading up to the day we left. I had some rough moments at Disney in March, our first trip there without you, but I do know you are still with us in spirit and continue to show us that you are.

There were 3 signs from you that I witnessed during the trip. The first being while sitting in the car on a Saturday morning at the urgent care in Tallahassee, waiting to find out if we would be moving on to Disney, or heading back home. After the chaotic and time consuming exit from Louisiana (wrecks and rain), to the not being able to find a room until the 4th try (1/2 hour past Tallahassee), to your sister’s migraine and nausea that first night on the road, to the 1/2 hour drive back to Tallahassee the next morning to reach the nearest urgent care, I was feeling we were definitely heading back home. So, I decided to say a rosary while waiting, asking that things would go right and fall into place so we could enjoy this vacation. I no sooner finished the rosary when you showed up at the back window of the car, sitting on the wiper, tapping against the glass. I did not realize it was you at first. The second time you came back, tapping even harder and staying longer. That is when I saw you were a cardinal. That was when my mood started to change back to a positive outlook. I tried to get your picture, but you flew away. The third time you came, I was ready, and was barely able to snap a shot of you before you left, and those feelings of negativity were almost completely gone. Within minutes of your last visit, your mom texted saying your sister was doing so much better and they would be out in a minute and we would be on our way.

The second sign was the day later in the week when I was feeling tired and aggravated at Magic Kingdom (the reason being now escapes me). But any way, as I stood there waiting for the bus to arrive with 3 or 4 others, there was a skywriter starting to draw letters off in the distance. What would have been a boring situation, standing there doing nothing, turned into another sign of hope and happiness. As he finished spelling out “JESUS”, the bus showed up. The second part to this sign was while on the bus. As those of you who have been to Disney know, they don’t just pick up 3 or 4 people and head back to the resort. They wait a few minutes to see if others are coming or not. So as we waited, the driver stood up and was handing out stickers to the kids while other riders were getting on. As he came back to the front, where I was sitting, he looked at me and said with a smile, “One left, guess it’s your lucky day.” As I took the sticker, laughing, a wonderful feeling came over me. Evan’s favorite Disney Character was Sorcerer Mickey, and that just happened to be the sticker I received from the driver. Joy and sadness overtook my feelings of aggravation and the rest of the day turned out to be wonderful because I knew you played a part in my receiving that sticker.

The third sign was our last night in the Magic Kingdom, after eating dinner, by all means your mom wanted to be able to get a lantern picture of us by Rapunzel’s Tower. So we headed there as soon as we finished eating. For those who don’t know, this is a difficult thing to do because there is really no “X” marks the spot, stand here for pictures thing going on. The photographer doesn’t come out there until right before dusk so it is up to them as to where they want to start the line. We get there about 45 minutes before dusk and pick a spot to sit and wait, and hope that we can get a decent spot in line when they start. Before long, more people start to show up in the area, and you could tell they were all looking for the same thing. A couple of girls asked if we were waiting for the pictures and we told them yes. Apparently others had started forming a line along the wall with us behind the girls who inquired about it. The photographer comes out about 20 minutes before dusk and walks right up to us and asks if we are where the line starts for the Lantern Pictures. She talked with us for a while before going back in to get her camera. We were blessed once again and were first in line for the pictures that night.

As I have said on more than one occasion, there are no longer coincidences for me. There are only signs from a higher power. It is up to us to open our eyes and see Those signs when they are plainly right in front of us.

Let us pray. Lord, thank you for allowing our loved ones that You have called home to reveal their presence to us in our everyday lives. Thank you for making Yourself known to us through them as well, lifting our spirits and strengthening our faith in you, making the difficulty of losing a loved one somewhat easier to deal with. Although the road remains one of tremendous heartache to travel, it is through You that we are able to continue living out our days, until You finally call us home to be reunited in Christ. Grant all those who have lost loved ones a moment of peace in their heart and place a smile on their face today as we pray to You, for through You, all things are possible. In Your Name we pray. AMEN.

God Bless You All,

You Are in My Prayers,

Scott